Gay today, gone tomorrow...

I have a predicament on my hands.

On two recent occasions whilst getting my 'drink on' at various social outings, I have been placed in a rather bothersome situation.

While both were totally separate instances, the set up was exactly the same. I was out with a good friend from work (actually lets call her Fab_Flatmate - as we are about to move in together) and being the buxom blonde that she is, she attracts all sorts of lovelies...anyway, we are out and she is chatting to the usual, tall muscular manly type package - I am across the way, probably saying something highly entertaining to the people I am surrounded by (*sigh*) and a passing reference is made about my good self - I imagine it's something along the lines of 'is that your boyfriend?' - as I usually hear the tail end of the answer '...Oh no - he's gay'. Eye contact is made, I smile and walk over for assessment, as everyone knows - if the gay don't rate you, the girl don't date you.

Now, here comes the tricky part. In both instances, the gentleman in question (who by this point has been doing a double act to both entertain and capture Fab_Flatmates attention) enters into some pleasant conversation with me. Here comes the punch line however. BOTH of these guys found it their duty at some point of this quick exchange to invite themselves to kiss ME. I'm not talking mack fest but certainly a prolonged smooch in the general cheek area.

Why?

Not that I am complaining - not at all in fact. But why?

Do we now need to make changes to our old sayings? Should it now be 'The best way to a woman's heart is through her Gay mate'???

The second 'Knight in fitted Nudie Jeans and even snugger t-shirt' even offered to set me up with his mate who I quote 'wasn't sure if he liked girls or boys' according to his friend. I am sure he would have loved to have known that his mate was advertising this fact.

I regret to advise that before I or my friend could make an attempt at a move on either of these guys - they were gone. Gay today, gone tomorrow.

So, the dance of dating gets a little bit more confusing. I just want to put it out there though, to any of you straight gentlemens out there - the afore mentioned method of getting into my friends pants is totally cool with me - show me some love and I will make sure she shows you some...

Live Long and Prosper...

So on my good friend Jenni's advice, I am putting fingertip to key to write about my little rendezvous with Australian Fashion Designer Alex Perry. Well it wasn't so much of a rendezvous so much as he walked passed my desk on Thursday. I'll be honest with you, the man both intimidates and confuses me.

Intimidates because I know he would have been assessing my outfit the second he laid eyes on me. Lucky for me I was dressed in Ralph Lauren that day (polo and jeans) and my hair was still looking ok. I swear to god, he must measure the size zero dresses he makes on his own waist. Man is buff-tastic up top and 'last hole on your belt' down in the waist area.

He confuses me as I have no idea how this man is married. No offence to his wife - I am sure she is lovely - I myself have many a lovely fag hag - but he is homo-licious. Homolicious.

Secondly, I was lucky enough to score some tickets to the World Premiere of Star Trek on Tuesday. Can I just say, Zachary Quinto - when you make up your mind if you like girls or boys - call me...either way.

The whole night was fantastic - a proper red carpet event. I took my gorgeous cousin along as my date, we strode along the red carpet mingling with the likes of MTV VJ Ruby Rose, Author and all round glamazon Tara Moss, Rove and current Miss Universe Australia - Laura Dundovic. As we cruised along the red carpet and commenced walking up the 70 (yes 70) steps to the Opera House, the paps were looking at us to see if we were worth taking pictures of. My cousin mutters to me through a smile 'I am trying so hard not to trip', me being the well seasoned red carpeter that I am, replies with a 'just smile at everyone honey'. To top off a great night, the movie was fantastic to say the least and will appeal to all audiences - Trekkie or not so. The cast were a perfect fit and the cameo by Leonard Nimoy was met with applause. Actually the audience were very receptive throughout the movie - lots of claps when we first saw the Enterprise etc etc.

Oh there was one girl - let's call her 'Crocodile Clip_Girl', she was there to see J.J Abrams and only J.J Abrams. As he came on the stage and introduced the cast and the film (nice guy BTW) this girl bellows (I have to say bellows because...well she was a bellowing sort of girl) at J.J telling him how much she loved him. He broke this unscripted moment with a funny quip, something along the lines of 'is there an Optometrist in the room?'. I highly recommend you all go and see this film when it is released on May 7th.

Sneaky Boobs on the Beach?

So I just found this pic on my iPhone from the Kylie concert.

Yep that's a booby magazine in his back pocket.

I'm going to say he was dragged along.

Here is a picture of the place I went to last weekend and had THE most delicious breakfast ever. Oh and probably the most expensive, clocking in at a nice $40.

And finally this is a pic of a party I went to just before Christmas - yep, hanging out with Sneaky Sound System.

I'm back...

Ok, so this is the longest that I haven't written a blog and it has now dawned upon me that the reason I started writing was I had so much to talk about. I think it has taken this long to build up a bank of exciting things and I really don't think I can hold onto it anymore!

Here is a list of what has been going on in The Sydney Life since December...

Our staff Christmas party was once again the extravaganza that it normally is. We had the most amazing party at a club on Oxford Street. The theme was 'Circus Freak'. The costumes were so creative and the entertainment on the night included trapeze people, 2 mostly naked men and the Pot Belleez. I went as a Freaky Magician. Kick arse costume.

I spent Christmas in beautiful far North Queensland. Let's just say the highlight of the trip was the weather, the pool, the shopping, the weather, the lack of work and catching a bronzed god trying to hide the party in his pants as he walked away from the pool.

New Years Eve was spent with the delightful Paris Hilton at the Bongo Virus NYE Party. It was pretty awesome. Paris walked passed me at one stage and I just saw this mass of blonde hair as all of my friends were pointing and gaping at my shoulder. One thing I must say though, at one point we were all watching her dance and taking pictures of her and her new BFF and I remember thinking. This feels so wrong standing here watching some chick dance. With her friends. For no reason. I still took pictures.



I finally had my hair done at the Brad Ngata salon in downtown Sydney. It. Was. Amazing. Just look at the pictures, they say it all.

I saw the first episode of the Australian Ladette to Lady at a private viewing the other day. It was terrible. But terrible in a good way. I have no idea if they are going to edit it for Australian TV but I was embarrassed that these girls were Australian. Especially when Mrs. Crotchety Pants (??) starts talking about how the UK shares Her Majesty with 'Ooorstralia' and then they cut to one of the girls with her nipple sticking through a CD. Classy.

I have to move. Yeah, I'm a bit sick of talking about that in the real world.

I spent yesterday sailing on the Harbour. Didn't fall in, nothing broken, didn't throw-up. Successful day really. Even managed to get a bit of a tan.

I'm back at Yoga. Bring on the Downward Dog.

I scored GOLD tickets to see Kylie in concert. It was fantastic. It was like being in a nightclub with the costumes, the music and the confetti. It was also Homo Headquarters. Say no more.


It's nice to be back blogging. I've missed you. Don't ever go away for that long again...

Keep on Trekkin'...

Ok, so I just got back from a sneak preview of the upcoming Star Trek movie.

Oh my shit this film is going to be amazing. If I wasn't a Trekkie before - I am now (I jest).

The Gay 80's...

Wow, this time of the year is really nuts. I guess now that I am hell bent on ruling the world, it does take up a little of my time.

Last week I went to an 80's themed night. I love the 80's like anyone else, but I'm not thaaat into it. There are moments that I like, such as...

The song "Electric Dreams"

The Never Ending Story

Big Hair

The overuse of electronic synthesisers in songs

Me being me, I whipped together a costume with a days notice. It wasn't much but I knew that I could top it off with a larger than life hairstyle.

When I got there, we posed for photos like it was a normal everyday thing. Like I was taking the rubbish out. Step, step, pose and snap. Easy as that.

I took in some of the costumes that were there and some of them were simply amazing. High waisted pants, parrot earrings, shoulder pads, high tops. I decided I would be going as a cross between Michael J Fox (Back to the Future years) and Olivia Newton John let's get physical. There were Madonna's, bad bridesmaids and fluro galore. It was a great night and a good primer for the upcoming staff Christmas party.

Little did I know, come Monday morning I received an email (cc'd to the rest of the world) telling me that I was infact the best dressed staff member. It was so worth it. It got me a $100 Westfield Voucher. I am so spending that sucker on something juuuust for me. I have been eyeing off the new Giorgio Armani mens skin care range. Trouble is, I'll have to put another $300 towards my voucher in order to afford it...

Blondes have more fun...

So you know your a high flying socialite when you find yourself home on a Saturday night with the best thing on TV being Herbie starring the one and only Lindsay 'I'm not a Lesbian' Lohan.

If there is one thing I love doing is going to the hairdressers. You name it, I've had it. Colours, cuts, extensions - everything. I also find a sort of peace in heading into a salon full of the sounds of hair dryers, idle chatter and the typical douche, douche of house dance music in the background. You sit in a chair, a hot beverage stuffed in your hand and someone starts to play around with your hair.

I am very particular about my hair but once I find someone who I like, I leave the process to them without further explanation or supervision.

Today was far from that. I won't go so far to say it was a terrible experience as such, it just wasn't what expected.

Upon phoning the salon earlier in the week to make my appointment for the weekend I was told my colourist had unfortunately left the salon. Having some knowledge on how this could affect the clientele coming to the salon, I agreed that I would still come along on the weekend.

When I arrived this morning, I was greeted as usual by the receptionist who promptly delivered a cup of tea to my hands. Good so far.

Then I met the new colourist.

Upon first look I noticed:
Bloodshot/James Mathison crazy eyes
A muttered greeting
Strange sideways glances at the Manager
The look on his face like he was enjoying a joke no-one else could hear

Then there was the brief consultation.

Then started the random analysis of my hair, followed by clipping it up and un-clipping it again, all the while shaking like a mother fucker. Then he literally said under his breath something about what process I use to wash my hair. I barely understood him so I asked for a repeat to which he looked at me with those freaky eyes and repeated what he said in the exact same muted voice. I then made a comment about being tired so I could stick my head in my magazine and pray everything turned out ok - he says to me "well if you start talking in tongues - I'll know to stab you with my comb". Ha ha...very funny.

Top that off with him picking up pieces of foil that weren't even there.

Yep - this new hairdresser was pinging off his head.

Feeling a little bit concerned I put my magazine down and wondered if I should try and get the attention of the Manager. After watching him fumble through putting foils in my hair that seriously started to worry me - I started making eyes at anyone who would look. By the time he had finished, I looked like I could probably get cable TV and digital radio reception. Let's just say 'haphazard' was the inspiration du jour for my foils.

This could have been me

Whilst laying at the basin, thinking - how am I going to get my hair fixed, what will I say to the Manager etc. I started to get over my scared feelings at got a bit angry. Since when has it been ok to turn up to work totally off chops? Especially when you have other peoples lives literally on your hands (well almost - my hair is pretty important to me). I thought - if this all goes to shit, I am going to be one unhappy homo. I had already spent most of my appointment on the edge of my seat wondering what the fuck this wing nut was banging on about and whether he talking to me or his brush.

Lucky for him (and me) everything turned out ok. What I couldn't figure out though, was when I went to pay - the bill was around half of what I normally pay. I was happy to have my hair in-tact and just paid and left.

I don't know if I will go back. I honestly don't think it was worth going through that to get a discount. As I said, it's a lot to do with the experience for me and this was nightmarish to say the least.

Good God, Heartbreakers starring Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sigourney Weaver is now on.
If anyone has seen my social life, please send it my way...